Self Worth

Every morning at five minutes to eight I join the Feed Your Dreams room on Clubhouse. And today’s topic was ‘What are you doing to feed your dreams?’ And during the ‘pass the mike’ segment everyone was asked what they were doing to further their dreams? During one testimony there was a lady a motivational speaker and the story began with her being asked to be a part of a collaboration in which they inquired ‘what could someone do for her?’. And she said she didn’t need anything necessarily and would be willing to do whatever was needed for free. Now this is where everyone weighed in. The first question was ‘why would she do it for free?’ and she responded by saying it would help drive traffic to her webpage or blog or whatever. And one person said she was selling herself short. Because surely her time and knowledge was worth something and she deserved to be compensated.

When it was my turn to weigh in I told her my story, that once upon a time I was the ‘free lady’. The person that everyone went to when they wanted something done for free. And neither one of us should sell ourselves short for pennies on the dollar, we’re worth more than that. Then I got to thinking about the fact that everyone of us at some point in our lives undervalued ourselves. Don’t do that. Why because your self worth should not have a ‘free’ label stamped on it. And just like that young lady, whatever it is that you have to contribute is worth it’s weight in gold and should be treated as such. So, the next time someone tries to get something for nothing, ask yourself this ‘What label should be placed on me. Will it be ‘Free’ or ‘For a fee’? That’s it for now, until next time. Where love resides-Temari

The Apology Train.

Why is it lately that everyone and their momma is feeling the need to apologize for something they said or did? Whether it’s politician or the President himself. And I’m like, seriously? Do they honestly believe people are going to let you forget that particular thing? The answer is no they are not. Why because social media and screen shots exist, which are apparently called, ‘receipts’ (Insert eyeroll) and sooner or later it will resurface.

Last year child star Nick Cannon made a statement regarding his belief in who he is and everyone and their momma jumped on him like he nuked the city. And I was like, if this is what he believes then let him. It doesn’t mean we should tell him he’s wrong. If you’re reading this and saying ‘what the heck is she talking about?’ I suggest you Google it because I’m not going to get into it the semantics of what was said.

Getting back to the topic at hand, which is the need to apologize for any and everything. In my humble opinion that isn’t necessary. Why, because it’s already out there and people aren’t likely to forget. Trust me when I say this. I remember an incident the last time my family were together during a relatives funeral and during dinner something that occurred when I was nine came up in conversation. And from there it just snowballed and each person felt the need to weigh in on said incident with their own take.

Naturally I was annoyed and wanted to ask, ‘why are you bringing this up? This happened forty-one years ago, for crying out loud! Why can’t we discuss something new, like what’s everyone up to. Then it dawned on me that is if I did that, I would spend the remainder of the visit on the apology train, which I was NOT going to do. With that being said, if you find yourself tempted to issue an apology for whatever, think to yourself, ‘Is this really necessary?’ And what would be the reason for it? That’s it for now. Until next time, where love resides-Temari

The Face of A Good Friend

In the days of the so-called ‘cancel culture’ just let me say it’s always nice to have someone talk you down off the proverbial ledge or offer some encouragement. You have no idea how much it’s needed in these changing times.

Earlier this year I got an invitation from my writing accountability partner to join the new platform Clubhouse. Naturally I was a little skeptical about it and figured it was just another useless platform that’s the next shiny thing, but I was wrong. Because in just a few months I have made connections with some phenomenal men and women. And it’s changed the way I see myself going forward in terms of my writing journey. And since then I will be making some major changes and am going to put a few things into action thanks to the advice I’ve gotten. So, if you aren’t on there, you’re surely missing out, trust me on this. The beauty of this platform is there is literally something for everyone and in every time zone too. That’s it for now, until next time, where love resides-Temari.

A New Thing

In this life, everyone is fascinated with anything introduced to the masses as the quote, ‘Next best thing’. Admittedly including myself. In the age where everything old is new again, I don’t get excited the way I used to. You know why, it’s all been done. The bible says there is nothing new under the sun. Absolutely nothing. The reason I say this is if you take a hard look at trends you’ll realize they really aren’t new. Whether it’s a cellphone, computer, IPAD, or fashion style. Trust me, when I say it’s all been done. I don’t get why people will flock to the stores, stand in lines for hours if need be for something that’s essentially old hat. It’s just been polished up to make it seem different just to get your money. Period. In all honesty, I am not mesmerized by the shiny new thing put in front of me. Aside from the fact that my pocketbook won’t allow it, it just doesn’t impress me not even a little bit. Take this new thing Amazon just started, or even Clubhouse. These things are good for that people need them for, but aside from that, as I said earlier in the post, it’s all been done. That’s it for now: Where love resides-Temari

Too Late To Change The Time

It occurred to me while doing research for a book that most everything we are told in terms of the news is orchestrated to get a certain reaction from the masses. Not long ago I posted about some of the chaos happening in the world and how there’s a certain agenda to it. And everything heinous has a ‘black face’ placed on it. Take this pandemic for instance, something that was supposedly started in China now has POC associated with it. Funny how gullible people can be and so trusting. To allow themselves to be led like sheep to the slaughter just because someone told them something so convincingly that they believed it. Doesn’t anyone question anything anymore?

Personally, having grown up in the sixties and seeing the type of things that are done to the poor and unsuspecting is astounding. I remember my grandmother had this picture of I believe was her grandmother dressed in full native American regalia, headdress and all. When I asked about it she told me about how my ancestors were rounded up and moved from the only home they’d ever known to another and given diseased ridden blankets all because they didn’t think they meant them no good or had an ulterior motive. And I thought, didn’t anyone ask why they were being given something so freely? Instead of taking it and later suffering the consequences.

I didn’t post this to say everyone is naïve, because most are not. I say this because you cannot take everything that’s told to you as the gospel, it isn’t, you’re smarter than that. If you are told something that you don’t believe is true, by all means do the research, find out the facts. Oftentimes you have to look in other places. Myself I don’t just take what I hear or read here in America as the truth. I surf foreign sites like the BBC, Russia Today, The Israeli news, The API. Why, because things that are happening elsewhere that will most assuredly happen here in the US but we haven’t been told about it.

You cannot be closed minded when it comes to times like these. Wake up out of sleep. These are perilous times and are about to get must worse. We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers and wickedness in high places. That’s it for now. Where love resides-Temari

Taking Offense

There’s a saying that goes, some people are standing around waiting to be offended by something. Lately I’ve noticed that people get offended by the most mundane and idiotic things. But when it’s addressed they give you reasons why they don’t want to resolve the issue peaceably; they just choose to stay mad. The bible says not to let the sun go down upon thy anger. In other words don’t go to bed until the problem is fixed. But in the case of social media, you just get unfriended, blocked and bashed a whole lot. Personally I don’t have time for such foolishness. And I damn sure don’t have time for people who like to play the victim. I have never considered myself one. What I am is a survivor. I don’t want to surround myself with people constantly mired in drama or who believe they hate me in some way, shape, form or fashion. Everyone was born on this earth is under the subject of sin. Nobody’s without spot or wrinkle. But I refuse to let the demons that plague others to manifest in me. You can’t lie down with snakes and not expect to get bitten. The people that think they have issues with me have yet to address them to my face, they just decided I was wrong and they were right. And got the weaker ones who couldn’t think for themselves to jump on the bandwagon. So, in essence I lost some social media associates. About seventy percent. In retrospect, that was a good thing, because I didn’t need them to feel whole. The Lord moved them out of my way and I’m relieved beyond measure. To the person reading this, surround yourself with people who will lift you up, not tear you down. Until next time: where love resides-Temari

My Brand.

Let me just say, I don’t bend when it comes to my brand. My government name is attached to it and I will not sully that. Initially in my career I was a little overzealous when it came to releasing a book, I just wanted to see my name in lights so to speak, and as a result I agreed to something I shouldn’t have, then regretted it later. To the person reading this, DO NOT BEND WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR BRAND. Like I stated earlier, your name is associated with it. Some folks take advantage of the fact that you are new to the industry and don’t know much and therein lies the problem.

There are plenty of predator’s in this industry that are waiting in the wings to pounce and gobble of the ones that are naïve and are like I was, eager to see their name in print. I tell anyone who asks, know what you want, do your research, don’t compromise on your ‘ask’ that is to say what it is you expect from the person or company you could possibly be working with.

A saying I really like is the most important person in any scenario is YOU. Why do I say this, it’s because you are the one that’s striving to accomplish something. Whether it’s the publishing aspect or even in marketing. Your hard work, blood, sweat and tears are being offered up in this. So, look before you leap. That’s it for now, until next time. Where love resides-Temari

The Fear of Failure

Someone once said, it doesn’t matter how many times you fall it’s whether you get back up and once you do, what comes after. I like that because at some point in everyone’s life they’re going to do just that. But to have the strength to get back on your feet is where the power is.

Through my journey from blogger to writer to published author hasn’t been easy; far from it. It was filled with hills, valleys, bumps, and bruises but I wouldn’t trade what I do for anything in the world, I love it so much. Where else do you get to sit at a desk with a laptop, PC, tablet, phone, tape recorder or notebook and build a story?

But most will never do it because if the fear of failure. That’s going to happen whether we want it or not. Even the great Stephen King has had some duds, he told me so himself. Myself, I’ve had many and that doesn’t mean I’m going to quit, because I still have something to say.

When I started my journey to becoming me I had one character that stayed with me throughout. One I couldn’t shake until I finally told his story. It’s funny because another author told me she hears the voices of her characters in her head pushing her to bring them to life. And even though all writers know the first draft is always crap once the words land on papers, it gets better with time. In my previous post, I explained how I became a writer and how the words of three authors helped shape me into what I am today.

But one thing I didn’t discuss was the fear of failure. I know deep down everyone has it, no matter who they are. But we never give up, no matter how tough things get. Nope. It’s not in us to throw in the towel. And even the ones who’ve disappeared from social media due to bulling or some other reason, I believe they still write. I say this because the the words never disappear, they never go away. Why, because life still exists and because of that the need to tell the stories remain. Now whether we choose to let others read it is another matter.

Now getting back to the topic at hand, the fear of failure. No matter who we are it’s something that remains in the back of our minds. If we allow others to influence our actions is another matter. So if you’re reading this and thinking of not writing that book, I say do it anyway. What have you got to lose? Who knows it might turn out to be something really great. But it won’t happen unless you do it. That’s it for now, until next time, where love resides-Temari.

The Difference Between Me and You

Let me just say I don’t do petty and refuse to jump on anyone’s bandwagon. Last year around this time I lost several social media friends whom I thought were decent people. Ones I supported in some way shape or form and who turned on me because of an assumption. And I thought they knew me better than that, oops my mistake. Anyway, getting back to the topic at hand which is the reason for this post, is the difference between me and other people is I’m not gonna turn on you because we don’t share the same beliefs or dance to the same drummers beat. I’m not made that way. But if you’re reading this and you fit into the mold of following others blindly without knowing all the facts, then two chances to one, we don’t need to be friends or even acquaintances. And that’s all I have to say about that. I don’t need that kind of thinking in my circle. There’s a saying I like that goes, the door to loyalty swings both ways. If they don’t return it, they don’t deserve it.

I’ve always been good at reading people and I can tell whether or not you’re on my side or just tolerate my presence because you have an ulterior motive. Which is why I steer clear of people pretend to be in my corner because they have a hidden agenda. I happen to think my self worth is more than having a bunch of people around just to stroke my ego or make me feel important. I came into this world alone and I’m leaving that way. I want people in my life that will help me grow as a writer, not get upset because I’m not swayed by popular opinion. Oftentimes it’s better to stick with what isn’t popular, or your life might just depend on it, literally.

So, in closing the difference between me and others, is my world doesn’t revolve around the superficial or fake. I’m not a bandwagon type of person and my self worth doesn’t depend on how many people like me or pretend to. I’ve always been a loner and pave my own path and never followed the crowd. Someone once said, if your self worth depends on superficial things then you aren’t worth much at all. I happen to think I’m worth a lot more than a bunch of fake individuals. That’s the difference between me and you. Until next time, where love resides-Temari

Stormy Weather

There’s a saying that goes, in each ones life some rain must fall. No truer words were ever spoken. But despite that, one must be positive and always hope for the best no matter what. Myself even as jaded as I am I try to see the positive in everything because it’s no sense in walking around with your head down. Why not look at it this way, somebody somewhere didn’t wake up and you did.

I try to go through life thinking something good is about to happen. And even if it doesn’t there’s always tomorrow. I’m reminded of this cartoon character on the show the Flintstones called Bad Luck Sleprock everywhere this guy went things just fell apart. But he still kept moving and his head up no matter what the circumstances. Think of it this way, it’s like my hubs always reminds me, somebody somewhere wishes they were in your shoes. Which is true, so I release a calming breath and get on with achieving my goals. So if you’re reading this and thinking it’s the end of the world, it isn’t. The sun will come out tomorrow. Until next time-where love resides-Temari