The Importance of Being True To Oneself.

It doesn’t matter where I go or who I meet, you can best believe I’m always me. Straight no chaser. I don’t believe in pretending, what you see is what you get. This morning in the Feed Your Dreams Clubhouse room, the question was asked what was it that made you hesitant to follow your dreams? And I said, the backstabbing, backbiting; the back anything.

In the eight years since I’ve been in this business I have been unfriended, unfollowed and un-everything you can think of. There was even a conversation dedicated to what an awful individual I was because I didn’t share a popular political opinion. And because of that, people deserted me in droves, about eighty, ninety people. Ones that were either unable to speak for themselves or just didn’t want to seem disloyal to the person or people that I didn’t share the opinion with in the first place.

Sure, I was upset by the whole incident. But thankfully, I got over it. Most people in my position would have backpedaled and said whatever they had to in order to gain favor with the ones who abandoned me in the first place. NOPE. I dance to my own beat and I follow nobody’s beat. I am on my own island and enjoy the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me. I also learned there’s no loyalty among people that have none.

I will not betray my principles. Even if it means I’m the only one who shares it. Because in the grand scheme of things it’s the only thing that matters, and my conscience is clear. And that, in my opinion, is why it’s important to be true to oneself. That’s it for now, until next time; where love resides-Temari

I am Mine

There’s a quote I like that goes, ‘Be yourself, everyone else is taken’ I feel like folks are so busy trying to be like someone else or emulate their favorite movie star, music, or even media icon. But no one is willing to be an individual.

Well, I say we should. I know some people say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but I just think you should consider being the one that stands out above the rest. Do your own dance, wave that flag and go forth and conquer your world. As we go into the various holiday seasons, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Dewali, etc we should embrace the things that make us special. That’s it for now, until next time; where love resides-Temari

Being Your Own Fan

There is nothing wrong with clapping for yourself and celebrating even the smallest achievements in your life. Why, because if you don’t do it who will? I have learned from experience that folks are so busy being jealous of one another that they will NOT congratulate you or anyone else on a job well done.

I for one don’t feel in the least bit envious when someone I know reaches a monumental plateau or receives an award for their accomplishments, because it gives me hope that I too if I put in the hours and the work will get there as well.

But in life, there’s always somebody who thinks it’s wrong to quote ‘toot your own horn’. That you’re being a braggart or cocky. I don’t happen to agree. We must all celebrate our accomplishments because there will come a time when none of us will be able to. So if you’re reading this and you’ve done something you’re proud of or even stepped out of your comfort zone to do it, go ahead and dance that jig or give yourself a high five; you deserve it. That’s it for now. Until next time, where love resides-Temari

Happy National Authors Day!

Who doesn’t love to dive into a really great book? I know I do. And thanks to the authors I read and support I get to do just that. I’m so glad that there’s a day where we get to shine a spotlight on such an undervalued craft. I think if there were no books in the world and the wide variety of genres then what would we do, how would we get to escape and still remain in our favorite reading spot?

There’s an E.B White quote I like that goes, “Booke are good company, in sad times and happy times, for books are people- people who have managed to stay alive by hiding between the covers of a book.” No truer words were ever spoken. I remember as a teenager my favorite author was James Michener because he wrote about far-off places that I could only dream about going to like, Hawaii, Alaska, and Space! And though he’s no longer with us, his stories remain with us and still stand the test of time.

And when I decided I wanted to be an author, too join the ranks of my contemporaries and wrote about far-off places and fictional towns and the people that live in them, allowing my imagination to just spill onto the pages. Books to me are lifesavers for the lonely, the broken-hearted, and the hopeful, like me. So, the next time you meet one of your favorite authors, thank them for bringing their imaginations to life and enriching your world, because I sure do. That’s it for now until next time, where love resides-Temari

Date Night/Day

As someone who has been with the same man for close to forty years and married thirty-eight, I wondered do people who have been with their spouse or significant other for a long period of time do they still have a quote ‘Date Night’? Speaking for someone who makes sure our busy lives don’t interfere with our dynamic as a couple. So, at least one day out of the week we have a ‘date night’ or a ‘date day’.

It’s important that we don’t get so set in our routine as a married couple because that’s when things start to get stale and after a while. When I had the dreaded ‘Day Job’ my husband would meet me for lunch and spend at least an hour with me. I have found that when you don’t take the time out for one another, you become strangers.

So if you’re reading this and thinking, ‘That’ll never happen to us’ trust me, it will eventually. Because it happened to us. But I took steps to change it and things have been so much better. We laugh, talk, and joke with one another and just that little bit has made our relationship stronger. Even little things such as asking how their day went can go a long way. At least they know you care because you thought enough to ask and so the conversation begins. And that’s just my two cents. That’s it for now, until next time, where love resides-Temari

Have you looked out for yourself today?

Let me just say, there’s nothing more important than seeing to the wellbeing of oneself. Despite what some may think, we are not related to the energizer bunny. We need rest, water, fun, recreational time and self-care.

Oftentimes a lot of us lose sight of that because we’re too busy living our professional and family lives. Whether you be a business owner an entrepreneur, or work for someone else, you will eventually get rundown and need to rest or else you’ll suffer a heart attack. I have personally experienced that because I did not take time out to look out for myself. To do things that are non-work related or having to do with taking care of others as oppose to me. And because of that I nearly suffered a nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital. I’m telling you, you do not want to be in that situation because it could lead to some serious issues.

It’s time you realize that there is nobody more important then you and you cannot look out for the people or things you are responsible for if you aren’t at your best. My friend Yalanda founder of the Feed Your Dreams room on Clubhouse and gourmet soap maker often asks the question: Did you shower today? And myself, I post thought provoking quotes for my followers and mostly for myself because sometimes I need reminding that I am an important part of this world as are they.

The reason she asks this is because a lot of us are so busy being everything to everyone, self-care is not even on our agenda. Something as simple as a shower or bubble bath can be a big help not just hygiene-wise it can actually help you recharge. Nobody should be too busy to do something for themselves that doesn’t include someone else. It’s not selfish, it’s making sure you taken care of as well. You cannot give one -hundred percent if you aren’t.

If you’re reading this and like me you’ll say, “I don’t have time to take a break, let alone sleep” You’d better or you might just regret it. That’s it for now. Until next time, where love resides-Temari

That Is The Question

According to experts there are ten fears that people face. 1. Failure. 2. Inadequacy 3. Leadership 4. Competition 5. Embarrassment 6.selling 7. People 8. Futility 9.Self and 10. Success.

Earlier today in the Feed Your Dreams room the following questions were asked of the panel: Which fear causes you to lower your voice? That is to say, makes you afraid of doing any particular thing on your list. i.e bucket or something to help further your career or life goals. They also say that everyone has a voice and how it should sound. Whether it’s brought forth in boldness, subtilty or not at all. How much does the silence of your voice cost you; to you and others? Can you afford to stay silent any longer?

What would be the reason you believe your voice is or isn’t enough? Or have you been told something that makes you believe one or the other or perhaps both? If you had to give advice to yourself in the past or present or even to a dear friend or family member experiencing what you did six months to two years ago, as associate d with the relief that your voice gives, what would that advice be? What are they desperate to know in that area and what advice would you give them? Is there a ‘sweet spot’ that you possess with your voice? How do you use your voice where you feel confident, competent and in your comfort zone?

In case you’re wondering what my answers to these questions were, I can honestly say, I have learned to not worry about my voice and how it sounds or is portrayed to others. There’s a saying I like that goes, ‘You have this one life. How do you wanna spend it? Apologizing? Regretting? Questioning? Hating yourself? Dieting? Running after people who don’t see you? Be brave. Believe in yourself. Do what feels good. Take risks. You have this one life, why be afraid to live it? Why be silent? You have only one voice, why not use it. Make yourself proud.’ That’s all for now, where love resides-Temari

On The Look Out

I was raised to give everyone the benefit of the doubt until the time comes not to. Through the years I’ve met people who have become lifelong friends and confidants and others I could have done without meeting in the first place.

The reason I say this is due to the fact that everyone we meet has an agenda for inserting themselves into your life. Whether it’s to keep an eye on what you’re doing or just to be plain nosy. I have a personal motto which is, ‘Don’t Trust Anybody’. The reason being is everyone has an ulterior motive. I don’t care who they are, there’s always some underlying reason for them hitching themselves on to your wagon, so to speak.

No matter what it is, you should always feed these folks with a long spoon until you are certain they aren’t there for something other than wanting to encourage or help you grow or gain ground in your quest. I’d stated in a previous post that I wasn’t a quote ‘bandwagon’ type of person. I hate following the fold.

I honestly have no need for the ‘cliques’, ‘clubs’, ‘Mobs’ or ‘Groups’. I prefer my own company and would rather be around my animals. At least they don’t hope to gain something from me other than love, affection and or food.

I’m not naïve to think that everyone is perfect or without spot or wrinkle. Let’s face it, we all have our smudges. All I’m saying is, keep your eyes peeled and don’t take anything at face value. Ask questions, poke around until you learn what they’re really after.

There’s an old school rap song I like that says, ‘Friends will let you down, friends won’t be around when you need them most of all your friends. Friends are hard to find, friends like yours and mine, talk about your friends.’ Be careful folks because there are a lot of wolves in sheep’s clothing who are after whatever it is you got. Whether it’s to steal, kill or destroy. Until next time, where love resides-Temari.

Exploring Social Platforms

Let me start off by saying, I have nor have I ever been a quote ‘bandwagon’ type of gal. Why because when your let to something blindly, you tend to get caught up in a kind of net that is hard to get out of. Take all of these new social media platforms, like Linkedin for example, this was something that’s existed for a very long time. And it seems everyone and their momma is on it, I wasn’t. Not until 2018 when I finally broke down and joined. Why? Because I was looking for a former classmate and I figured he’d be on there and I was right. Once I connected with him I kept it moving due to the fact that I did what I needed to do.

Until I found out that it could be used for more than just searching for someone. You can get business connections, touch base with other authors and small business owners, editors, advertisers etc. And I must admit, I am happy I jumped on this particular bandwagon. The other was Clubhouse, initially I was skeptical about even this, because it was just another app to gum up my phone and IPAD. Well, I am happy to say I was wrong, it isn’t. In just the few months I’ve been on I have connected with so many awesome men and women in the literary community. Whether it’s authors, editors, radio and blog hosts and even a few influencers. Who have lit a fire under my lazy, procrastinating butt and I am just so grateful for them all. Just being amongst these folks I have discovered things I had no idea existed. I suppose I have been under the proverbial rock. LOl! Anyway, I’m a member of a group of elite men and woman and I ain’t going nowhere! So, if you’re like me and are skeptical about joining any of the platforms that are out there, pick one you’re comfortable with and stick with it until you’re ready to move to the next. That’s it for now, until next time. Where love resides-Temari

I’m Getting Writer’s Block

First let me just say, yes, there is a such thing as ‘writer’s block’. And although a lot of authors don’t believe such a thing exists, trust me it does. It’s been dancing the jig around me for days; if I had a gun it would be deader than a door nail. Lol! I don’t know why I can’t seem to get these books finished. But the words only seem to come out in spurts. A few months ago, I attended a webinar with author Allie Pleiter, she was awesome let me tell you. She spoke about this system she created called the Chunky Method, which is writing in blocks at a time and you keep at it, taking one day at a time until your project is complete. So far it’s working out great for me, but lately not so much. I think what I need to do is to step back and focus on something else that’s non-writing, perhaps that will do the trick until the words start to flow again. I’m sure if you’re reading this you’re probably one of those people who don’t believe anything prevents a person from completing a project, that it’s all in our head. That maybe, but I don’t think so, because I hear the voices of my characters on the regular. They’re always speaking to me, even when I don’t want them to. But lately I suppose I’ve been tuning them out, hence the reason for my problem. Anyway, I’m determined to beat said issue and finish these two books, before I move on to the next. Wish me luck because I’m gonna need it. Until next time, where love resides-Temari